Monthly Archives: August 2012

Why can’t people pipe down when they go the cinema? New ninja initiative has been designed to stamp out the rabble

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Written by Zen Terrelonge

You know what it’s like, you go to the pictures with popcorn and drink in hand, carefully choosing your seat to make sure you avoid the ominous-looking upholstery stains, while still ensuring you have an enviable position to fully appreciate what you’re about to see.

Of course, it’s bad enough to sit near someone that’s going to chew food like a camel and slurp drinks like a hungry hooker.

But, it’s even worse to be near a bell end that can’t go two hours without looking at their phone to check Facebook, quote the film via tweets, have a mid-movie game of Angry Birds, kick your chair, or speculate what the film’s outcome will be at a volume that outshines the surround sound.

It’s not always easy to snarl at the source of the noise and ask them to pipe down, especially for fear that hoodies may leave a blade in your back, complemented by cries of ‘take dat blud’ resonating in your ears before everything fades to black.

Knowing how important the cinematic experience is for decent humans, Lycra costume outfit Morphsuits contacted The Prince Charles Cinema to trample out unrequited phone glows and fight against bad cinema etiquette with the ‘Ninja Task Force’ initiative comprising a team of ‘Invisible Cinema Ninjas’.

A number of volunteers have opted into the programme, and will don the midnight black full-body costumes to creep around the screen and sneak up on unsuspecting foes that can’t control their bodily functions or tech use.

Gregor Lawson, co-founder at Morphsuits, said: “I’m a big fan of going to the cinema, but there’s an unspoken code of conduct when you’re watching a movie that some people just don’t understand.”

Paul Vickery, head of PR for The Prince Charles cinema, added: “The ‘Cinema Ninjas’ may sound ludicrous, but they have been a real success in clamping down on those ruining films for everyone else with inconsiderate behaviour.

“When Morphsuits got in touch with us and suggested the Ninja idea, I thought it was a stroke of genius. We recruited some of our diehard fans, who get to watch the movies for free, and we haven’t looked back since.”

One such wrongdoer who was caught by the popcorn police, said: “I normally hate noisy people in cinemas, but I got a call from my friend just as the movie started and thought I could get away with taking it. The last thing I expected was two completely blacked-out people suddenly appearing by our seats and give me and my mates a warning to shut up.

“It was actually pretty terrifying at first, but then I realised it was a bit of a laugh and a great way to make it clear what I was doing was having an impact on those around me. It certainly made me hang up and shut up for the rest of the film.”

Morphsuits plans to launch the service across the country, and is currently in talks with Cineworld and Odeon.