Monthly Archives: April 2013

Scary Movie 5 film review

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(Rating: 15, 86 mins) Written by Zen Terrelonge

Starring – Simon Rex, Ashley Tisdale, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Snoop Dogg Lion.

Never before had I been to the cinema and consciously considered going to sleep to avoid watching the film – but then Scary Movie 5 happened.

I don’t know what was worse, the film itself or the state of Lindsay Lohan. I don’t say that to be a bitch. The film was genuinely awful, while it breaks my heart to see the way Mean Girls hottie Lohan has veered off of the rails. Alas.

Lindsay Lohan 29573_n

With the Scary Movie franchise out of service for the past seven years, it had some catching up to do. Seemingly, the writers got massively carried away by trying to poke fun at every single film created in that time.

Married couple Dan (Rex) and Jody (Tisdale) find strange happenings after bringing Dan’s nieces home from an orphanage. This, of course, is a direct spoof of Mama and Paranormal Activity, while Black Swan, The Cabin In The Woods, and even Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes are given the parody treatment.

Scary Movie 5

While there was a place in the market for the first two films, the fifth edition is a desperate attempt of flogging a dead horse.

But in the event that you like dead horses, there will probably be a Scary Movie 6 out next year that spoofs Iron Man 3, The Host, Safe Haven, and The Croods.


Scary Movie 5 is out now.