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My NYE Kisstory experience: Sweat, a glass of shit and a fake family

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Written by Zen Terrelonge

I went to a Kisstory event at the indigo2 back in August, which was closed early “in the interests of public safety,” following a merrymaker being carted off to hospital.

Four months later and I returned for New Year’s Eve to see what would unfold a second time around.

Time thieves

Two clueless time-stealing police officers insisted we queue and get searched for general access to the O2 venues – inclusive of the indigo. So naturally, security at the indigo door told us the line inside was for VIPs only and that we needed to join a different procession outside.

The price is right

Use of the cloakroom cost just £2, and it was little over £4 for a beer, cider, or shots, which is reasonable for a prime London location.

Kiss FM 2013

When a girl rubs sweat onto your arm

Eye contact is an important way to instill faith, respect, and trust in people, though it also happens accidentally sometimes when glancing around a room. That’s kind of awkward when someone thinks that’s an open door to drunken conversation.

One girl approached me and asked if I was single, clearly disinterested in minor details like saying hello or asking my name. I answered yes, to which she replied, why are you fronting? I’m not entirely sure what part of me was putting on a facade/disrespecting her, but the sweat she brushed onto my arm was too much and I had to leave her dancing alone.

Do you want a glass of shit?

My escape from the aforementioned crazy lady came at a cost, as I was thrown into a vice-like friendship with a guy that was quite clearly too drunk, and one sniff of coke away from an overdose. You may have experienced going to the toilet while under the influence of alcohol, finding that another person in the vicinity has momentarily befriended you, it’s standard practice really.

However, the pink-shirted guy that insisted we go and get a drink together was far too insistent, and I politely declined. Despite this, he requested two Smirnoffs from the toilet attendant, a man immediately rendered bemused by the request, “sorry?” was his response.

“Two Smirnoffs for me and my pal,” continued pink shirt, while the attendant brilliantly replied to say: “My man, this is a toilet, so unless you want a glass of shit I suggest you leave.”

The two new cousins I never knew existed

Pink shirt’s obsession was wearing thin, so I attached myself to two fellow mixed race guys, who really were cousins, and requested that they adopt me as part of the family in order to give the stalker the slip. They happily obliged, though it wasn’t without consequence.

Pink shirt refused to accept that his services weren’t required, and proceeded to start a verbal altercation threatening violence with one of my ‘cousins’, prompting me to physically bundle him out of the door and pacify him before things took an uglier turn.

Music sounds better with you

All in all, the music from DJs Justin Wilkes, Neve, and EZ was on point, though I’d have liked to have heard more hip-hop and garage thrown into the mix, but that’s just personal preference.

Guess who’s back. Back again…

Upon leaving the indigo, I saw pink shirt at his old tricks again, being forcibly removed from the premises by police and bouncers alike, though he refused to accept his removal and continued to try and re-enter. He failed, and was frogmarched even further away from the building.

Happy New Year!